


Exiled Thoughts

by AceandShadow



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Being Lost, Game: Destiny 2: Curse of Osiris DLC, Game: Destiny 2: Season of Dawn, Letters, Loneliness, Love, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Yearning, warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24190846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceandShadow/pseuds/AceandShadow
Summary: "My greatest regret"Osiris has been exiled from the Last City and he has ventured into the Infinite Forest to continue his research into proving that the Vex still remain the greatest threat the Guardians will faceThe Speaker has sent Saint-14 after him to bring him down from the rafters and back to reality and Osiris anticipates that he is not prepared for what he will encounterAn exchange of letters has been found, showing signs of warning, yearning, loss and desire, but in the Infinite Forest, time deals a foul hand and stopped the letters before they could reach them, leaving them both in the dark
Relationships: Osiris/Saint-14 (Destiny)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	1. A Letter of Caution

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will get updated frequently when the letters are written to a point that brings the timeline up to date. Only god knows how many letters I will stretch it out to be XD

Saint,

By now they will have probably sent you after me.

By now, the Speaker will know what I have done.

I knew my exile would not come without due consequence, but I took it my stride – much to Sagira’s disappointment. She was not best keen on my ventures, but she has yet to see what I see.

So do you.

You go on the Speaker’s command for he is your father and I cannot fault you for that. My only wish is that you saw the bigger picture as I do – the Vex.

If you have come after me with your mind set in the Speaker’s shadow, I implore you to turn back and first cleanse your mind of the Vanguard’s influence. Only then do I think it is safe for you to come for me.

If you do not, then understand that what you are about to see will alter the course of history – unspeakable events, unfathomable minds and twists at every corner of the galaxy…every second in time. You will see why I must come here.

It is only unfortunate that you will not see until it is too late and you are knee deep in what you cannot comprehend.

I have studied the Vex for decades and I have tried my best to make the City see what I see. But as you know, I have failed. So I have decided to take on the threat myself – alone – and search the Infinite Forest for every aspect of time that I can buy in the hope of saving the system, yet. They do not understand my sacrifice, but they shall one day.

I don’t know when, but they will. Time will tell.

I have a means to the end and I hope you will see that before you find yourself in trouble.

You are valiant and bravery gets you far. Your history during the dark ages speaks volumes of you, Saint, and tells only tales of a man born of a darker past but grew in the light of a brighter future. All the things you have done for the City, I will not forget. I will not ignore. But this is something that even you with all your raw courage and ferocity cannot solve.

No, this requires the mind cleansed of internal interference – something I hope you will come to learn. Sooner rather than later.

I admire you, Saint. I think it’s important that you know that. There isn’t a circuit in you that doesn’t exclaim ‘hero.’ But I want to remind you that there are some people heroes can’t save. There are some things that heroes can’t solve. There are some times when the hero doesn’t win – times we experience even now.

I want you to be not discouraged by this.

Be not discouraged if you cannot find me, for even you will become lost in time, no matter how straight your head is.

Be not discouraged if you encounter enemies you cannot defeat. It is only human that you encounter obstacles as such – the most human you will feel, I am sure.

I just want you to know that no matter where I am in time, I will never stop thinking about the City, the Vanguard, the system, the bigger picture…the future… You…

I’m doing this for all of us, whatever the Speaker may tell you.

He says that I am selfish. Ignorant. Arrogant.

I am but one of those things. I’ll leave it to you to work it out – put that Exo brain to use.

I believe in you, Saint. I believe that you will do what is right. I don’t doubt that you shall find me when the time comes – when the moment is right.

I only hope you know what is at stake.

Yours, in time,

Osiris


	2. A Letter of Hope

Osiris,

You would not believe what I have just done.

The Kell of Devils: he is no more! I have removed him from the equation. He has long been a thorn in our sides, but today, that ended. Solkis, Devil Kell is a Kell no more and the House of Devils are in disarray.

Killing him did not come without cost, however. I broke my neck and my poor Geppetto, she had to pick me up quicker than she had ever done before. Those Devils had never responded so quickly.

You should have been there. It was a proud moment.

There is something else I think you should know. My father, the Speaker… He has sent me after you. You have travelled to Mercury in search of the Vex Infinite Forest, yes? A tale you have immersed yourself in, yes?

A folly. You should not spend your exile like this, Osiris. You could be useful, but you have decided to venture in search of the impossible. In search of deceit.

I pray it does not become your end, old man. We needed you here in the City, with the Vanguard and you have abandoned us in our time of need.

Your ‘followers’, they want you back, but they are becoming a problem. They are out of hand. Do you see the mess you have left behind?

And what of Ikora? Did you stop even for a moment to think about how you have left her? The Speaker is unsure of her position on the Vanguard, but you have left him with little choice.

Osiris, you are one of the wisest, most honourable Warlocks in this time. Why waste yourself on the Vex when what we face is in plain sight? We need you to come back. _I_ need you to come back. Your place is non-expendable and we are at a loss without you. I am at a loss for words without you around to help.

These times, they are nothing like that of when I grew up, but they are far from okay. They are far from safe and you being here would make them safer, still.

I must admit, your exile was unavoidable for you have consumed yourself and others around you, but there are still things that you can do to help us build that future that we always dreamed of. The future that _we_ always dreamed of.

I remember meeting you when the City was so small and still unsafe. I knew, then, that there was something about you – something strong and unforgiving against the cold winds of fate. You would be the one to save us all.

But this is not how imagined you’d go about it. This is not the way I imagined you would pass.

Osiris, before I come for you, I want you to read this and realise your worth is something far greater than the Vex will ever know.

I cannot live up to your name. I cannot take your place for you are too good for me, no matter the number of Kells I put in the ground.

I need you, Osiris. I need you to come back to me. I don’t want to find your Lightless body lost where time cannot tell. I don’t want to see Sagira without you. Geppetto will not allow it, so you must bring yourself back here before the Vex show you the end before you are ready.

Please. I will not ask again. This is your chance, now, to show the City that you can rise above your obsessions. This is your chance to show the Speaker you are as worthy as I see you – show them what I see in you.

There is still hope for you, yet.

I hope I will see you in my present. I dread the present you see before you right now.

I hope it is not too late.

I’m coming for you and I will not leave without you.

Saint-14


	3. A Letter of Reconciliation

Saint-14,

It is important that I tell you something…

I have decided that this is where I am meant to be – traversing the timeline and learning everything about the Vex. They are the most dangerous entity that I have seen in centuries and they are right on our doorstep, awaiting our faults.

They are simulating our very moves. They know our play before we do. The only thing that has stopped them dominating our stances has been the Light – they cannot simulate the Light and we must play it to our advantage. We must do unto them as they have unto us – observe.

I want you, should you have attempted to enter this forbidden place, to stop what you are doing and look around you. Look at how they move. Look at how they communicate. It is something most fascinating.

I cannot stop what I am doing for I am anticipating a timeline dedicated to this letter being removed from existence. I must prepare myself for that inevitable period.

I’m not sure how you intend to find me.

For all I know, Saint, you haven’t given it a second thought. Maybe you think I am a lost cause. You have gone back to the Speaker claiming to have found my Lightless body in the abyss of time. Maybe you have told young Ikora that she is on her own – that I have abandoned her.

I have not.

I have taught her well. I have trained her. I understand that Shaxx has taken a liking to her and I believe he will continue to train her. Perhaps better than I ever could.

Should I return, I’d imagine she would always have been better off without me as if it were I that was holding her back.

Look out for her, Saint. She has more worth in her hand than I do in my whole being.

I don’t know how long I have been out here, but I have seen more than I ever thought I would. There are infinitesimal possibilities to everything. Where one being is alive, he is not in another, but then he is someone else in another. I have seen past timelines where fate could have played a different hand and we would be somewhere else so far from our dreams, Saint.

I have seen your past – what would have happened if Geppetto hadn’t found you. What would have happened if you hadn’t stopped the Fallen at Twilight Gap. Saint, without you, the City would not be here. It would not exist.

I have seen a timeline where I do not exist. That is enough for me to wonder only more about what the Vex can do to time. They use it as a tool and I must, too, if I am to come out of this with something concrete – with something…formidable.

If you read this and you are in the Forest, I want you to turn back. Do not continue. Do not waste your efforts on me. I am of no use to the City for I am more useful out here, observing the threat as the threads of time unfold before me. I can help to prevent what we could not before.

I’m staying here.

The Speaker will be glad to hear of my decision, I’m sure, for he could never see the world as I see it.

The way I see it, it is his loss and I hope he realises it soon.

Tell Ikora, too. I think she would appreciate the thought that I have not forgotten her. She deserves to know what is going on.

Saint, wherever you are, do not come for me. It is not too late to rid me of your thoughts for I must push forward in time, but you must push forward in stance. You are what the City needs, not me.

I will come forth when the time is right.

The time is not yet right. I hope you can forgive me.

All yours,

Osiris


	4. A Letter of Yearning

Osiris,

I have no idea what you are planning, but I want to tell you that, whatever it is, it is ridiculous, and you need to stop.

The things I am seeing in this Forest… They don’t make sense. You abandoned your duty as Vanguard Commander for _this_?

You are crazy, old man. You haven’t been the same since Twilight Gap.

Neither have I.

The City has grown, Osiris. It is still growing, and it needs you. I don’t know how many more times I must remind you before you realise, what should be your priority, was right there in front of you the entire time.

_I_ was right there in front of you. I always have been, and I always will be.

Dammit, Osiris, if I didn’t see hope in you, I’d have killed you myself by now and you know it.

I said I wouldn’t ask again, and I won’t – instead, I shall tell you: you must come back. If this is you retaliating against my father, then I shall fight your corner when the time comes… Whatever time is, in a place like this. I have lost track of time, here – a place of time and I cannot comprehend it on my own. I feel like I don’t exist, here. I don’t even feel like I am in the correct reality. Is that possible?

I have seen strange things, Osiris – things even stranger than you. I think… I think I saw myself… with you, but not as we know it. It was all so different and…wrong. I think I have seen a time where our City does not exist. How could that be?

Osiris, what have you dragged me into? Why wouldn’t you warn me that this would happen? Why wouldn’t you tell me that I would see things that I cannot unsee?

I have been drawn to the attention of the Vex. They keep coming at me in waves, but they are different to the Vex I have seen before. Here, I have never seen the same Vex structure twice. I think that some of them… _hit_ harder than others – like they know how I will strike.

I should have known that following you would bring trouble. I just didn’t expect _this_ kind of trouble.

I want to feel like this trouble is worth it and I will find you and make you see why I came for you, but the longer I spend in this… Infinite Forest… the more I lose sight of why I am really here. I must constantly remind myself:

It is not to fight the Vex.

It is not to explore these timelines.

It is to find you and bring you home.

Out here, I am not fighting for the City. I am fighting for _you_. I am fighting to get to you.

You are a hard man to find, Osiris, but you are a fool if you think that will stop me. You can’t get rid of me that easily, and neither can the Vex.

I will tear enough Vex apart to end a war if I must. You have my word.

I am not best prepared for this venture. I am without my best weapons and my Light is not at its strongest. I suppose you could say that I underestimated you.

I thought coming to Mercury to find you would be easier. I could not have been farther from the truth, could I? I should have known you would not make it easy.

I suppose you were an expert at the children game ‘Hide and Seek,’ yes? You still surprise me, old man.

I, however, do not stop until I win. I will exhaust every fibre in my being to find you, if that is what it takes. Saint-14 does not give up so easily – something I would have thought you’d expect!

No amount of warning will get me to turn back, Osiris.

_You have my word_ ,

Saint


	5. A Letter of Warning

Saint,

I have been traversing the timeline as planned and I am at a loss for words for the things that I have found… The things I have discovered…

I build my prophecies around these timelines – like warnings of the future where one action dictates an entire end. I will carry the burden of this knowledge until my final grave, if I must, but I am torn between warning the City of its actions and keeping them a secret out of concern that I will only make matters worse.

It is a field of conflict, these corridors. Where one leads to a happy ending for all, one leads to despair and sacrifice. Where one leads to something, one leads to nothing and I cannot even begin to comprehend the task ahead, nor can I comprehend what it is that I am seeing…what I am learning.

I am worried for you. I have not heard from you in…I do not know time as I used to. I am sure you have followed me into the Infinite Forest for the Vex seem armed for a Titan of your stature.

I believe I have uncovered plans for your demise specifically.

Saint, I would know your Light trace anywhere. I would recognise that touch inside my mind from being together on the Vanguard and therefore I would know when the Vex have devised a specific Mind to counter your Light specially.

They are calling it Agioktis, the Martyr Mind. In this timeline, I see nothing but only plans for this Mind, but I fear that in another timeline, I will find it in its whole, prepared to fight you.

I fear most…that I will find it in its whole…atop your corpse – that I will have found you too late to save you.

Saint, I warned you what would happen if you followed me and now you must prepare yourself for what is about to come, for I believe it to be your toughest challenge yet. I don’t doubt that you will give it a fair fight. I don’t doubt that you will give it everything you’ve got, and you will make it work to take you, but these plans… They are in-depth perceptions of your Light.

They plan to drain it straight from you.

I will do what I can to stall it, to buy you time, but I do not know for how long I can hold them off, or what good it will do.

My Reflections have been sent across the timelines in search of a solution. I’ve sent some of them in search of you.

I carry many burdens as part of exploring timelines but losing you at the hand of the Vex in a timeline I could have prevented is not one I wish to carry. You are in here because of me and I will not let that be your undoing. You must understand that.

You have been a big contribution towards the man I am today, and I am prepared to put all that to the test and stop this Martyr Mind from taking you from me.

I am even willing to make that a promise.

I _must_ make that a promise.

I can only use the Forest to my advantage so much before it becomes too obscure and I want to use it until I can no more if it will help save you from an end you most certainly do not deserve.

You still have so much more to give, Saint, and I’m willing to bet that the Martyr Mind isn’t ready for your desire to live your best life.

I should stop betting, however. I have lost too many when I first met that Andal Brask. That friend of his, Cayde-6, has taught him too well. I’ll even go as far as to _bet_ that he is trouble.

More so than you.

I will do what I can to protect you, wherever you are. I may not be able to stop the Martyr Mind in its tracks, but I will buy you as much time as I can.

I wish you all the luck in the universe,

Osiris


	6. A Letter of Farewell

Osiris,

I cannot find you. I have failed in my mission to bring you home.

I am sorry.

This…Mind… The Vex are calling it the Martyr Mind. I anticipate they spent centuries building it and they have spent their time well. This was very well planned.

If you knew, I worry about the fact that you did not warn me of such a plan. It makes me wonder many things about you – whether you are not here to tell me, or you did not _want_ to tell me.

The latter worries me the most. I thought more of you. I’d have _expected_ more of you.

None of that matters anymore.

The Vex… They have succeeded in their mission to drain my Light.

Fear not for me. I have destroyed enough Vex to end several wars and I stand atop the husk of the Mind. I have defeated it.

Their blow was fatal. I shall see my end before I see you and that will remain a regret that I shall never shake.

I have failed my father – I have disappointed him. I have failed the City – I will no longer be there to see it grow. I have failed myself – I have allowed the Martyr Mind to get the best of me: Saint-14. The Titan who takes on even Kells.

But most importantly, I have failed _you_ , Osiris.

This was never just a mission that my father had sent me on. I _wanted_ to bring you back. Not just for the good of the City, but for me. I need you. I have found that out much sooner than I realised.

Being in this Forest, seeing all that I have, I need you. We all do. I don’t want to lose you, Osiris.

I will carry on for as long as I can. I will keep pushing forward to find you for as long as these legs can carry me.

As you would say… ‘give it your all…’

I will… _give it my all_.

I fear this is farewell, Osiris.

I have not heard from you for these many years I have spent chasing you. I only hope that you have heard from me and I haven’t been talking to the abyss all this time.

It is lonely out here.

Osiris, if you are reading this, I forgive you.

I forgive you for chasing your obsessions for you have proven that the Vex truly are the threat we have been wrongfully dismissing. I forgive you for making me chase you into this Forest for I have learnt much about myself and I have only honed my own skills during this torment. You have made me stronger.

I forgive you for not responding to my letters, Osiris. Perhaps I am beneath you. Perhaps you are too busy. Perhaps, time has been unkind to you and you have…forgotten me. Whatever the reason, I forgive you.

I fear my end is upon me.

I don’t want this to be my end, but I have no choice. The Vex _are_ a greater threat. I was wrong. We were all wrong.

I am sorry.

Perhaps another timeline when the hands of time are in our favour – when fates seals it so.

I hope.

I do not want this to be farewell, but if time is not on our side, then it will have to be.

Yours, in time,

Saint


	7. A Letter of Discovery

Saint,

I have failed you. I promised you that I would find the Martyr Mind in a timeline that I could take it down or at least stall it for you to prepare yourself, but I have searched through centuries of timeline simultaneously and have found no trace of the Mind.

It’s gone.

I’m sorry, Saint.

As I have said before, I don’t doubt that you will be able to hold your own. You are a man, Saint – a man that I believe in, whatever the other people say. You are humble, modest, yet unforgiving against the enemy, strong and willful and anybody who says otherwise does not know you like I do.

I will continue the search. I will find the Mind before it gets to you. You can still hold me to that promise. You can hold me to anything.

In my search for the Martyr Mind, I have come across something that I cannot quite comprehend, and it is a burden on my mind. I cannot tell another soul what I have seen, but I can tell you how to avoid it.

There is a timeline that leads to the end. I don’t know when and I don’t know why, but I _do_ know how.

There is a new Mind. I have found the plans of what the Vex are calling ‘Panoptes, Infinite Mind,’ and its sole purpose is to turn the world into a Vex apocalypse. I have seen the aftermath, Saint. I have seen what the world will look like if this Mind were to succeed and I cannot let that happen, do you understand?

This is why I came here. This is why I ‘obsessed’ over the Vex – because I knew that they would be planning something like this. They leave no stone unturned so I must do the same and, in turn, remove the stones.

Panoptes remains nonthreatening as of yet for I have only discovered the plans and my Reflections are yet to find it in its whole. I pray they do not, and I have time to find a timeline in process and put a stop to it.

A timeline that shows Panoptes at its full capacity would be a testament to my failures. It must not be allowed to come to that.

If you find it, Saint, take it out. You have the means to stop it in its tracks. Do not spare me the parts. I could not care less if you decimate it to nothing but dust, I do not want the Vex to have that kind of power.

No one does.

Once you have done all that you can, you must leave. You must leave without me.

Take our findings to the Speaker – show him that he was wrong. Show him that there is still time to change the ways of the City. There is still time to make a fate we like better.

A fate that favours the future of us all.

Please Saint. If what I have done to this date has upset you – if you resent me for it all – then let this be the only act you do for me and you can return to the City where I shall not bother you.

Where you can forget me.

Where you can continue knowing that I am being useful _away_ from the City and keeping out of trouble.

I will put a stop to Panoptes, Saint, and I will find Agioktis before he finds you.

I will keep my promise and you can hold me to that until I die my final death.

Osiris


	8. A Letter of Sorrow

Saint,

I know you cannot read this, and I am sorry.

I am sorry that I failed you.

I am sorry that I broke my promise – the Martyr Mind is gone but at a cost that I never anticipated. A cost that is simply too high.

A cost that should never have happened.

The City will never know of your sacrifice for them. Telling them would break them knowing that such a hero is no more. Telling the Speaker…

I could not.

It is not my place.

Instead of searching for the Minds, I know, now, that I should have been searching for you. I should have searched for you so that you may escape safely and return to a life where I would not be such a bother – where I could not waste your time any further.

You have left your mark in this Forest and I have seen your resemblance everywhere. The Vex… They learned to respect you. They have seen what you can do, and they envy you. This is the closest I have seen them to emotion.

I sought to be your hero and save you from the detriment that the Minds would cause, but instead, you are _my_ hero.

I’m proud of you, Saint. I will not forget what have done for me these past years. I will not forget the price you have paid.

The price we have _all_ paid.

The system has lost its greatest hero – a legend.

Sagira tells me that I will drown in my own emotions should I continue to push them down, but she forgets that I am doing this so that you can rest in peace, wherever you are… _whenever_ you are. She does not know how I feel, and she never will.

She does not understand that your demise is a testament to my failures.

Not saving you… It is my greatest regret. One that I shall bear for centuries to come.

You shall never leave my mind. I will not forget you, Saint. You will be a permanent reminder to me that I must keep pushing forward with my research. I must find a way to stop the Infinite Forest from being used against us. I must find a way to stop the Vex from doing unto us all as they have unto you.

You are a permanent reminder that I have failed.

In return for your sacrifice, I wish to make you a new promise.

I realise that, to date, I have not been efficient in keeping my promises, but I would like to remind you that it is not for lack of trying.

_Who am I kidding?_

I promise you, now, that, everything I do from here on in, I do for you and in your name. I will not stop until I have devised a way to stop the Vex in their tracks. I will not stop until the City is safe from them – until I cannot find a future where we do not succeed.

I will not stop. I will never return from the Forest. I must push forward.

For me.

For the City.

For the system.

…for you…

I dread the early days of my ventures in a world where you do not exist. I expect the pain to linger for some time and I don’t believe for a moment that it will get easier, but I will learn to live with my failures so that I don’t make the same mistakes twice.

I am only sorry I had to lose you for me to realise.

I won’t forget you, Saint. That is a promise that I know I can keep.

Time may forget you, but you will always have one, silly old man who cannot.

Osiris


	9. A Letter of Potential

Saint,

I have not yet come to terms with my losses – my failures – so I write to you to keep my head on straight.

It’s funny. Even though you aren’t here with me, you are what is keeping my focus while I traverse the timeline. Just having something – or someone – to think about while I immerse myself in the unknown is enough to remind me of who I am and why I do what I do.

I am not one for wishing for something as I see no point in ‘wishing’ for something when it will either happen or it won’t, but for once, I wish that you were here to see this – to see what I have seen.

I decided against keeping Panoptes a secret. I was left with little choice for it had discovered me through Sagira. It was keyed in such a way that it could detect a Light source and it was programmed to remove it from its equations.

I opened up the Forest to remove her from its equations myself, and I threw her out. I don’t know how, but it alerted the City to me – something I hoped I could avoid during my time in the Forest for I did not want them to remember me and everything I stood for. That is a mark on the City I wouldn’t mind seeing lost.

My Reflections detected an anomaly in the Forest not too dissimilar to the one that you created, Saint. Another Guardian had entered in search of me.

As you could imagine, I had become…nervous…that the past was about to bite me yet again and remind me that what I am doing is dangerous to all.

But there was something about this Guardian. They were different and they were not what the Vex had expected, of all things.

Sagira was my hero in this timeline. She guided that Guardian with all the knowledge that I had given her – all the knowledge that we had discovered together.

We took down Panoptes together, Saint. The Infinite Mind is no more, and neither is the end I so desperately wanted to avoid from the moment I saw it.

I still see the shadow of a burnt-out Sun in the back of my head. I still see the end – the Lighthouse in ruins, the world nothing but numerical values…

But then came the Guardian. The Vex never saw them in their calculations and for that, I am nothing but grateful. Sagira saved me. The Guardian saved me. We saved us all.

If only they were here for you…

I feel I should mention that I saw Ikora for the first time in decades as well. How she has grown in herself. I can no longer call her a student for she has outgrown such sentiment. She has outgrown… _me_.

Saint, the day has come that I thought never will – I am not needed by anyone. No one needs me anymore. This grand Guardian has accomplished so much more than I ever will and in such a short space of time. They have such power that I believe, should another threat such as the Infinite Mind arise, they can handle it. They won’t need my help.

As much as Ikora made her stance and told me of the City’s change in heart, I had made my mind up and decided to remain in the Forest.

This is my place, now. Leaving here would be like leaving you behind and a lot of my unfinished business – my mess – and I cannot do that. Not yet.

I do not know what to do with myself. The greatest threat to our existence removed from the equation by a single Guardian. Times really _have_ changed, and I have missed it all. You have missed it all and, to think, you could have had a front row seat to it. You could have been a part of it. You _should_ have been part of it.

I took that from you.

It hasn’t been easy. Not even for a second. But I made this choice and I will stick to it.

I will continue my research in the Forest. I will keep my eye out for anything that looks to be the beginning of another Panoptes.

I will not fail you, and with this new Guardian, it’ll be much easier.

Perhaps this letter will find you in another timeline where I am better at keeping my promises and perhaps you shall read it and smile favourably on me and understand one thing:

I tried.

Yours, in time,

Osiris


	10. A Letter of Redemption

Saint,

I still write to you even after all these years, but, and I’d never admit this to Sagira, I think it’s the reason I’ve been able to keep my head on straight. Even though you aren’t here to read these, you are giving me the power to keep pushing forward in this never-ending venture.

The truth is, I don’t want it to end. All of this – the Forest – it has kept me focussed and has stopped me from dwelling too much on the past.

The last bit is a lie.

I don’t know the difference between the past, the present or the future with being lost in time so often. I’m neither here nor there anymore.

I have been carefully devising a plan to help you, Saint. I’m not finished with you, yet. I’m not ready to say goodbye and I know that, now.

I should have acted on this the second I knew you had followed me into the Forest, but I have created the Sundial so that I never have to say goodbye to anyone ever again.

It will allow me to channel your Light and go back to the very moment that the Martyr Mind took you from me – took you from us all.

It still needs some work, but I will make it work because the Forest has finally come through for me. I knew that my endgame out here was to be able to use the Forest to my advantage. I created the Prophecies that people could follow to hint towards events that would either be their making or their undoing.

I created one for you, Saint – a prophecy. It goes something like this:

_A tale that's different from the rest: the thread unfurls against the clocks. The one the Speaker loved the best must have a perfect paradox._

That Guardian I told you about followed up on it. They found your corpse tucked away in the future, buried with the Vex you killed. I always knew they learned to respect you, but it is nice to see clear evidence that you left your mark in the Forest.

All of this, it means that I can still bring you back. I can still make things right. I can still give to the City what they so desperately need. You can hold that to me, Saint. I will bring you back.

I don’t want my greatest regret to be the loss of a legend. That has begun to weigh on me after all these years and now I fear it shall crush me and I am not one to give up so easily.

No, this old man isn’t finished with you, yet.

I owe you that much.

Sagira is sceptical, but then I must remind myself that she always is. She has less faith in me than I do in myself.

You make up for that. You always have faith in everyone and so, perhaps even after all that I have done, even after all I have failed, I’d hope you’d have a little bit of faith in me. That would be all I need to accomplish everything I need to redeem myself.

But do not get me mistaken. I am not doing this in a selfish act. I am not doing this to save my own reputation for those days have passed – they passed some decades, perhaps centuries, ago. I am doing this for you and for you, only.

This Sundial _will_ work, Saint. I won’t stop until you are standing beside me once more just as we had done on the Vanguard.

You know, there are some days I wish I had never thrown away my place on the Vanguard. There are some days that I feel I undermined you when you recommended me for the Commander position. You were wrong to do such a thing. I am not worthy of your kindness.

Some days, I think I spend so much time in foreign timelines that I wonder if it messes with my head. Sagira will say it does, but honestly, I am never sure.

But I am sure that this Sundial will work, and I am sure that I can bring you back. This, no one can take away from me.

I will keep my work private. I will build remotely. No one shall know that this invention exists. I cannot risk it falling into the wrong hands to be used for the wrong reasons.

This is for you, Saint. Wherever you are.

Osiris


	11. A Letter of Restoration

Osiris,

I need to tell you about this Guardian. They are truly something to behold! I thought I was a goner out there on Zephyr Station. The way that the Fallen attacked me was brutal.

My Ward of Dawn would not have survived long enough for me to recover. They came with such force. But this Guardian…

They came to my rescue just in time! I could not have been more grateful.

They showed me the City in the future. Does it truly look like this now? Osiris, you must know! It was glorious! I was so close to giving up. I felt like we would never push away the Dark Age with our people sleeping with weapons in hand and that there was nothing I could do about it. But this Guardian promised me that I could change the world.

They were very convincing.

They gave me a shotgun. It was beautiful. The little Light said they built it out of scraps and Light and sheer will, inside the Infinite Forge. I suppose I have you to thank, somewhat, Osiris, for giving them the gift of the Infinite Forge.

After seeing the vision of the City as it prospers, I have never stopped fighting to make my City the same. I haven’t stopped fighting all these years – even as I searched for you.

I continued my search in the image of this Guardian. They represent everything a Guardian can become, and I want to become just like them and if I had to find you and bring you home to do that, then so be it.

Osiris, as you read this, I am in the City. I am home, but I am yet to see you.

The Martyr Mind. I have defeated it and I stand victorious. It did not take my Light and I owe it to that Guardian once more. I always wondered about where they got to after Zephyr Station, but seeing them amongst the future of the Forest…

I almost began to wonder if you had sent them after me.

Whatever the case, they helped me to take down the Martyr Mind and left the door to the Infinite Forest open for me to come home.

Times have changed, Osiris, yet I do not see you among them. You cannot tell me that, after all these years, you still traverse the timeline? You are not looking for me anymore. The Vex threat is half of what it used to be. I do not understand, old man, why do you still search?

You must not keep looking for trouble. Trouble will find you.

Come back to the Tower, Osiris. Ikora has extended that offer to you before and my father…

He is not here to banish you anymore and now we are all understanding of what you do. It is sad to see how he left this world and it is sad to see his ideologies no longer circulating but this new life… I think I am ready for it.

So, please, Osiris. You do not want this old Exo to beg. He has been through too much in search of you to begin begging, now. It is your turn to search for me, except I have made it easy for you.

You want to find me? I am in the Tower. I have met everyone. I have seen the Guardian who I owe so much to and I believe you also owe them…

Come back. Do it for them, not me.

Just don’t forget about me, Osiris. Time hasn’t.

We still have so much to catch up on, old man. I need you here to make this true.

I have been trying to figure out how this was all possible. The Guardian says that my legend was carried through the years and I cannot begin to comprehend what that feels like, so with you at my side once more, I can be the Titan the world needs me to be again.

This Guardian has set an example for me to follow.

I am still trying,

Saint-14


	12. A Letter of Spirit

Osiris,

You have not returned a single letter in all the years I have been searching for you and, now your chance is here, _you_ are not. I have been waiting for this day for centuries, believing it to never happen and you are not here to experience this with me.

You are the last piece in the puzzle of time, Osiris. I need you, but I have already said that I will not beg. If you will not come, then I have to accept your reasoning – whatever it may be.

You are one big-headed Warlock.

After all this time, I’d have thought you’d have learnt that it is precious and you never know what could happen, whether it is shown in the Infinite Forest or not, but you are squandering away valuable seconds, minutes, hours…searching for something to give you purpose.

_I_ will give you purpose, Osiris! I know you better than anyone has ever known – and will ever know – and you are not giving me the time of day to prove to you that I am worth your time.

A few years ago, I thought that, maybe you had forgotten me. I thought that, maybe I was beneath you – not worthy of you. But you have proven me to be wrong because I know you sent that Guardian after me. You value me, Osiris. I know this, but you will never show it. You will never admit it – you are ashamed of what you did and that is okay, but you can still make it right if you come to me now.

You cannot bury your head in the sands of time forever.

I am not ashamed of you and so neither should you. I forgive you, Osiris.

I forgive you for everything.

I just wanted you to know that.

For now, my dear Geppetto will keep me company. She misses you as well – and not just because she misses Sagira!

Perhaps I shall wait until I am worthy of your time. I will always wait for you. I will never stop waiting for you. I will fight for you, if I must, old man. I know that, one day, time will be in our favour and we shall stand beside one another again.

Yours in time,

Saint


End file.
